Singleness

How fitting to write a blog post about singleness on Valentine’s Day!
I have officially been in a season of singleness for about 9 months now. Within those months I have learned countless lessons, experienced many moments of heartbreak, jealousy, and anger, and felt unwanted, untrustworthy, and unloved. My mindset on this season has been in 8,000 different places. One day I’m so annoyed and impatient, tired of waiting on the Lord, and the next, I’m loving every second of just being me, myself, and I. I know in my mind that the Lord has my perfect, God fearing man out there for me, and I know that His timing is beyond better than anything I can force. I KNOW that. But I find myself wondering from this confidence pretty regularly. As time has gone by, I have learned to stray less frequently, but the occasional freakout still happens. Today, I had one of those freakout thoughts, but the Lord reminded me of something I read a few months ago.
“And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote food order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 7:34-35
SHEEEEEESH!
There's a few things I want to break down here. Verse 34a “And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit” holds so much in very few words. When you get married, you become one with your spouse. You are never alone again. You share EVERYTHING with another person. It is beautiful, fun, and something our hearts long for because of the desires the Lord gave us. But when you think about it from a single perspective, you realize that this season truly is a gift. It is a season to FULLY FOCUS on your relationship with the Lord. The verse says that a single woman “is anxious about the things of the Lord”, where a married woman is anxious about “how to please her husband.” This is the time to build a foundation. This is a time to find full contentment in the Lord, and the Lord only. This is a time to put all extra free time into rooting your heart and mine in the Word of God. This is the time to fall head over heels in love with the Lord. How beautiful is that? When you realize that this season isn’t a punishment, but an opportunity, everything changes.
And that moves me into the next part I want to break down - “how to be holy in body and spirit”. This is a scary goal to set, but it is so necessary to be chasing after holiness. Holiness is defined as being separate or set apart. Why is it important to pursue holiness in our season of singleness? Easy answer. If we aren’t pursuing holiness in our alone time with the Lord, then we are not going to pursue holiness when we add someone else to the mix. The world has created a very warped view of love and relationships. Everywhere you look, you see manipulation, sexual immorality, cheating, lust, same sex relationships, and the list goes on and on. It’s in every TV show, on social media, and plastered on posters and billboards all around us. Our flesh absorbs every bit of the world it sees, and that opens up a playground for the devil to work in our minds. We can so easily give into the lies, “Oh we can have sex before marriage, because it's just an expression of our love for eachother”. Or “We’re not actually having sex. We’re just pushing boundaries, so it’s okay”. Or “All of the relationships around me are doing these things, so I should be able to too”. Or “One little white lie is okay, I’ll tell my significant other eventually”. And the excuses and lies go on and on. But we are called to be holy in body AND in spirit. This is when spiritual maturity and discipline steps in. If you are not growing your foundation and knowledge while it's just you and God, then these lies are going to be really easy to give in to when you throw emotions and gushy relationship stuff into the mix. Trust me, I’ve lived it and learned from it. Grow your roots now, and your future relationship will thank you for it later. It will lead to a relationship built on truth, accountability, and respect for one another and the Lord. That is what the Lord always wanted for us - A man and woman fully in love with the Lord, leading them to be fully in love with each other. Strive to be holy now, and set yourself up for a relationship rooted in holiness in the future.
And the last part that tugs on my heart everytime is at the end of verse 35 - “secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” I’ve said it once already, but this is your time to fall head over heels in LOVE WITH THE LORD!!!! Take hold of this opportunity with all of your might. Secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. Everything in you needs to be fully the Lords. Every breath, every heartbeat, every word, every look, and every thought needs to honor the Lord. We will mess up, it’s our nature, but the Lord will honor our efforts. One of my favorite verses in 1 Peter talks about how the Lord will exalt you in HIS timing, if we humble ourselves before him. One way to humble yourself before Him is to stop chasing a romantic relationship, and begin chasing full speed after a relationship with the one who died for you. WITH UNDIVIDED DEVOTION! Focus solely on Him. He will never leave you or let you down. He wants what is best for you. He has a perfect plan and spouse for you. He will reveal his plan to you in His timing, and it will be better than you could ever imagine.
Singleness is just as much of a gift as marriage. They are equally important. Embrace the season the Lord has put you in. Use the opportunity. Change your mindset. Fall in love with the Lord. Run after the Lord, and the Lord will give you a running partner in His perfect timing.